I Need To Think Things Through More.

It was late on Tuesday and I was bored. Out of my mind, stir-crazy, bored. It had been a quiet day in eve for me as there had been few worthwhile contracts that I could take and all of them were *shudders* hi-sec to hi-sec snooze fests. I craved adventure, and I was going to have it come hell or high water. I could have gone cruising for some combat in low-sec, but with my current skills being mostly the non combat variety, that would just have been me throwing a ship and some implants down the toilet. momentarily amusing? Yes. Adventure? No.

So I did what I always do, looked at the available contracts. This time I checked the ones that I’d earlier written off as too risky or not worth it. I settled on one that had me travelling out to an area of null-sec in which had been very active over the last few days. By looking at zKillboard I saw that the Brave Newbies had been fighting with … well, just about everyone as far as I could see. These brave newbies are quite the ferocious bunch it seems.

the routeDeciding it would be better not to go through a system that had racked up over 40 kills in the last hour I clicked avoid on it and was left with a much longer but safer route. The cargo I was gong to collect was under 400 m3 so I settled on taking an Imicus for this jaunt as it has the largest cargo capacity of all the Gallente frigates. I fitted it out with a Cloak, MWD, 3 warp core stabs and a small shield tank.

Thus armed I set off. At first things went well, the early null systems were busy but uncamped making it easy to avoid the few mobile warp disruptor I found along the way. Things were going so well in fact that I got overconfident.

About 10 jumps in I casually avoided a warp disruptor by jumping to a completely unaligned celestial. Then instead of jumping to another one close to the gate so that I could scan it, I jumped right to the gate. Realising how stupid I had just been I hurriedly dscanned the gate as I was approaching it. It was swarming with warp disruptors.

Fully expecting to have one or two ships decloak and blow me into tiny little noob chunks, I prepared for the worst and let forth my battle cry that is now so familiar to my neighbours in this apartment. Many a night have the halls resounded with the cries “OH S%£#, OH S%£#, OH S%£#, I’M GOING TO DIE!!!” . overkill

When, to my surprise, nobody appeared to blow my ship up I decided to count my lucky stars and practice what I would do in this situation in the future. I cloaked up and started making my way towards the gate, trying to get as close as possible without being decloaked by any of the mobile disruptors. I got about half way before I screwed up. Once I decloaked I activated my MWD and burned for the gate. But something was wrong … was my ship meant to be this slow. Then it hit me, my “I haz a dumb” syndrome had struck again. Thats not a microwarp drive. Thats an afterburner! No wonder my cap looked so stable.

Feeling like the worlds biggest idiot, I made the remainder of my trip to the pickup station praying that there would be an MWD for me to buy when I got there. Fortunately for me there was,  it was even reasonably priced. I was just about to accept the contract when my stomach cut in, letting me know that it was 11 pm and I hadn’t eaten since lunch. By the time I’d cooked and eaten dinner it was midnight and I was far too tired to run that contract. Oh well, it’s been sitting there for days, I’ll just grab it in the morning. With that I head to bed for some much needed sleep.

On Wednesday morning I logged on to complete my journey only to find that the systems that had been so active over that last few days had entered a lull and that the contract, which had been there for days, was gone!

… Well s%£#.

Since those systems were quiet now and I wasn’t going to be risking 300 mil in collateral, there was no way I wa staking the long way home. And if I got caught? Well in that case I was going home that bit faster.

I undocked and headed out. My first couple of jumps were peaceful but with just  3 jumps to go I ran into a string of trouble. The first one happened when a frigate jumped onto the gate just as I had clicked the warp button. He locked and scrammed me, but I was stabbed up as far as I could go, so I just ignored him and warped on off.

bubble campThe next system held even more trouble for me but having learnt from yesterdays mistake and had scanned down the gate before jumping to it. I knew it was a bad idea but I was still tilting from having wasted such a long journey yesterday, and decided to see if I could run the camp. I aligned to the gate and did an early decloak hoping that they wouldn’t scan me down before my recloak timer was up. With 2 Interceptors and an Interdictor on gate I knew I’d never manage to bulldoze my way through. This in mind, I was coming in from an angle not aligned to any gate to reduce the chance of cans, wreckage or other pre-prepared space trash uncloaking me. first volley

As soon as I was dropped out of warp I hit cloak and clicked approach on the gate. After a few seconds the gate campers reacted. The Interdictor started making its way over to the gate to jump through on the off chance I’d make it. The Ares started orbiting the gate in close while the Crow orbited at a wider range. Although this greatly reduced my chance of survival I couldn’t help but be impressed. Especially by the Interdictor who was giving up the chance at a kill mail in case I made it through.

I actually managed to get within 4km of the gate before I was decloaked by the Ares. Having been expecting it I slammed on my MWD and hardner and waited for the 2km mark before spamming the Jump button like a man possessed. The frigates managed to lock me and take over half my shield in the few seconds between being uncloaked and  making the jump. Thank god I didn’t try to bulldoze it.

My troubles were not over yet. I still had the Saber to deal with. As soon as he saw the gate animation letting him know I’d jumped he threw out his warp disruptor probe. Knowing what was coming I made no actions after warping in, and to my amazement he’d missed me. Not by much, but I was outside the bubble. Part of the bubble was between me and the gate I wanted to jump through but being outside it made my escape a breeze, or should have. I started aligning to a random celestial that wouldn’t take me through the bubble, hit the MWD then cloak, then when I was up to speed I decloaked and clicked jump.

This was a mistake.


Because, fool that I am, I still had the gate selected. This ment that instead of instantly warping off, I decelerated and started realigning to the gate. I almost cancelled the order until I realised that I’d moved just far enough to make it past the bubblesecond volley, so I slammed on my hardner and prayed. My bumbling gave the Saber just long enough to lock me and get one shot off, taking away the rest of my shield and denting my armor.

Fortunately for me the other gate in the system was clear and I managed to complete my journey without further incident.

When my heart rate calmed down enough for me to think properly gain, I realised, to my surprise that it had been …fun! It had been so much fun that I almost turned my ship around to have another try. However wisdom prevailed as I was sure that this time they would be better prepared for me, and I completed my journey home.


So until next time, this is the Incompetent Capsuleer signing off.



    1. Yeah I got pretty lucky with that one. It could have gone much much worse. And don’t worry I’ll let you know when the “I haz a dumb” ends up costing me everything.

    2. u r my hero. i just started poking my my nose into lo sec to do pi…trippple stabbed and runing gate camps. Scary.

      1. It’s not all that bad, the ONLY thing I have to worry about is gate camps since I never stop moving. Also I was flying a ship that cost me around 6 mil and even if they podded me I was only going to lose around 20-25 mil. Cheap thrills if you ask me 🙂

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